I love Stallone movies! There, I said it! People can make fun of me as much as they want but Stallone rocks, actually he's Rocky, but "rocks" seems like a decent word to use in order to describe him. Ever since I was a kid; I didn't think I could be like him … I really, really believed that I could be him. I guess I was wrong. I'm just me. But I guess that's fine too.
Watched the Rocky Balboa (the new one) movie for the hundredth time, I never seem to get tired of it. The one cheesy line that I took away from it this time was "It ain't about how hard you get hit, it's about how hard you CAN get hit and keep moving forward."
Whether it's cauterizing your own bullet wounds with gun powder or taking away some valuable life lessons in the form of cheesy lines, there's always something you can learn from a Stallone movie. Gosh, I'm such a loser! Go Rocko!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sun Day
The sun was out yesterda, for a change; and this meant that the entire day was spent on Clifton 4th beach!
It’s weird, until I moved to Cape Town; I never used to just hang out at the beach. I mean - I used to go surfing almost on a daily basis, but it never occurred to me, that I should just go to the beach lie around and chill. I just didn’t really get the concept.
Maybe it’s just because I can’t sit still. Whenever I think I’m lying around, perfectly still and relaxing; I still somehow wriggle around enough to move the entire beach (sand) onto myself and my towel. Everyone else around me seems to do perfectly fine.
I also get bored easily. Thankfully I had some good company and ol’ faithful guitar to keep me preoccupied, the latter being to the detriment of the people sitting around us methinks.
I was however; also invited on several occasions to throw a Frisbee around. But ever since I received glasses back in Grade 6 or 7 my depth perception has been screwed; rendering me about as coordinated as a bat at a rock concert, especially when having to catch or throw anything. Saving my dignity, I decided to skip the Frisbee for a less crowded day,
To end of a perfectly lazy Sunday, we opted to grab our ritualistic drink and bite at Caprice along the famous Camps Bay stretch. Hopefully we’ll be getting more sun soon, it’s miserable again today. If we do I’ll be sure to go back, chill and get more sand everywhere.
It’s weird, until I moved to Cape Town; I never used to just hang out at the beach. I mean - I used to go surfing almost on a daily basis, but it never occurred to me, that I should just go to the beach lie around and chill. I just didn’t really get the concept.
Maybe it’s just because I can’t sit still. Whenever I think I’m lying around, perfectly still and relaxing; I still somehow wriggle around enough to move the entire beach (sand) onto myself and my towel. Everyone else around me seems to do perfectly fine.
I also get bored easily. Thankfully I had some good company and ol’ faithful guitar to keep me preoccupied, the latter being to the detriment of the people sitting around us methinks.
I was however; also invited on several occasions to throw a Frisbee around. But ever since I received glasses back in Grade 6 or 7 my depth perception has been screwed; rendering me about as coordinated as a bat at a rock concert, especially when having to catch or throw anything. Saving my dignity, I decided to skip the Frisbee for a less crowded day,
To end of a perfectly lazy Sunday, we opted to grab our ritualistic drink and bite at Caprice along the famous Camps Bay stretch. Hopefully we’ll be getting more sun soon, it’s miserable again today. If we do I’ll be sure to go back, chill and get more sand everywhere.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Bitter Sweet Symphony
I found it fitting that on the drive home from Natalie and Andrew’s wedding last night that the evening ended off with the song Bitter Sweet Symphony, by the Verve playing on the radio. Because for me it was exactly that: Bitter sweet.
The sweet bit was that yesterday, I was given the opportunity to witness one of my best friends, who is like a sister to me, tie the knot with the love of her life.
The wedding ceremony was held in Stellenbosch on a wine estate called Zevenwacht. The bride looked beautiful, the groom seemed delighted, the venue was exquisite, the décor was amazing, the flower girl cute as a button, the food phenomenal, the music well-chosen, the speeches touching. Everything was set to be a fairy tale, and it should have been nothing but a joyous occasion.
There was one thing lacking, and that was the matter of my date, which for me was the bitter part. Lauren was supposed to be my date.
I was really looking forward to taking Lauren with me. I remember before asking her to go with me; that I felt really excited, but I also had a high-school boy, anxiousness that perhaps she would look at me funny and turn down my offer. So I remember even having to plan and practice my proposition.
I’m not much of a charmer but I told her that I needed a really hot date for my best friends wedding. I found her reply entertaining but I loved it. “I am not sure I am the hottest date you could find, but of course I will be yours for the wedding”, she said. Not the hottest date? Silly girl, that’s why I loved her, super modest… and, well...hot.
I missed her yesterday, more than I think I’ve missed anyone. I found myself between mixed emotions, eclectic even; extremely happy the one second and contrastingly saddened the next. At times during the wedding ceremony I noticed that there was an empty seat next to me and when the dancing at the reception began I had no partner to dance with.
Not wanting to detract from the bride and grooms special evening, I tried my best to put on a brave face, but inevitably I knew that I would eventually succumb to emotion and have to run off.
I’ve also noticed at weddings, that this concept of separating by death, comes up quite frequently ( “Till death do us part.”). Now, I’m not sure if this just gets thrown around for dramatic effect, with death being some very distant and unlikely probability… But given recent events I’d like to, with all my blessings, congratulate Andrew and Natalie on a very successful and happy marriage, and added to that, wish them a long and prosperous life together. With emphasis, on the word “long”, of course.
The sweet bit was that yesterday, I was given the opportunity to witness one of my best friends, who is like a sister to me, tie the knot with the love of her life.
The wedding ceremony was held in Stellenbosch on a wine estate called Zevenwacht. The bride looked beautiful, the groom seemed delighted, the venue was exquisite, the décor was amazing, the flower girl cute as a button, the food phenomenal, the music well-chosen, the speeches touching. Everything was set to be a fairy tale, and it should have been nothing but a joyous occasion.
There was one thing lacking, and that was the matter of my date, which for me was the bitter part. Lauren was supposed to be my date.
I was really looking forward to taking Lauren with me. I remember before asking her to go with me; that I felt really excited, but I also had a high-school boy, anxiousness that perhaps she would look at me funny and turn down my offer. So I remember even having to plan and practice my proposition.
I’m not much of a charmer but I told her that I needed a really hot date for my best friends wedding. I found her reply entertaining but I loved it. “I am not sure I am the hottest date you could find, but of course I will be yours for the wedding”, she said. Not the hottest date? Silly girl, that’s why I loved her, super modest… and, well...hot.
I missed her yesterday, more than I think I’ve missed anyone. I found myself between mixed emotions, eclectic even; extremely happy the one second and contrastingly saddened the next. At times during the wedding ceremony I noticed that there was an empty seat next to me and when the dancing at the reception began I had no partner to dance with.
Not wanting to detract from the bride and grooms special evening, I tried my best to put on a brave face, but inevitably I knew that I would eventually succumb to emotion and have to run off.
I’ve also noticed at weddings, that this concept of separating by death, comes up quite frequently ( “Till death do us part.”). Now, I’m not sure if this just gets thrown around for dramatic effect, with death being some very distant and unlikely probability… But given recent events I’d like to, with all my blessings, congratulate Andrew and Natalie on a very successful and happy marriage, and added to that, wish them a long and prosperous life together. With emphasis, on the word “long”, of course.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Food for Thought
I’m eating pasta for breakfast! Apparently, this is really strange for a lot of people…I’ve been reprimanded on more than one occasion for eating strange things at strange hours.
Like the other day, I couldn’t sleep so I made bacon and eggs at 1 in the morning…Apparently that was strange too. Supposedly, I should be eating breakfast foods during breakfast, lunch stuff for lunch and dinner things for dinner…
Who came up with these rules in the first place; and who decided to categorise what we should and should not be eating at what times of the day, in any case? Whoever it is, I’d like to give them a piece of my mind…and perhaps write a sternly worded letter.
The fact of the matter is, if I wanted to eat corn flakes for dinner, or a fillet steak for breakfast, I don’t see why I shouldn’t; without people judging me all the time…. Anyways my pasta is getting cold, back to breakfast!
Like the other day, I couldn’t sleep so I made bacon and eggs at 1 in the morning…Apparently that was strange too. Supposedly, I should be eating breakfast foods during breakfast, lunch stuff for lunch and dinner things for dinner…
Who came up with these rules in the first place; and who decided to categorise what we should and should not be eating at what times of the day, in any case? Whoever it is, I’d like to give them a piece of my mind…and perhaps write a sternly worded letter.
The fact of the matter is, if I wanted to eat corn flakes for dinner, or a fillet steak for breakfast, I don’t see why I shouldn’t; without people judging me all the time…. Anyways my pasta is getting cold, back to breakfast!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Hooray for the Weekend!
Hooray for the weekend and hooray for all the hard stuff in my project being completed! We even had a team lunch at Simply Asia to celebrate. However, I may not be out of the woodwork yet, on Monday the sucky part of developing software starts - documenting how the system works - every software developers favourite (note the sarcasm there). Anyways, have a meeting then going to start unwinding for the weekend.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
How You Live Your Dash
It’s strange how you meet some people and in a short space of time they can make an impact in your life. I met Malik very randomly one day riding a lift down from Pierre’s place in Wembley Square with my folks. My dad noticed him wearing an Okinawa University T-Shirt and made a comment about it, he introduced himself to us and that was the last time we thought that we’d bump into him.
As luck would have it; a few weeks later I saw him again at a place called Karma, we started to chat and shared a few drinks. Him being from New York and me on my way to go live in Johannesburg at the time, I thought again that this would be the last time we would cross paths.
But this was not to be, a couple of days later I bumped into him again, at Wembley. I then introduced him to some of my mates. When I left for Johannesburg, he became really good friends with the rest of my friends… weird how these things work out.
Anyways I haven’t seen Malik since, but we’ve stayed in contact. Today he sent me a poem, which has now become some of my favourite words:
The Dash Poem
by Linda Ellis
”I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came her date of her birth And spoke the following
date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash
between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left, That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say About how you spent your dash?”
As luck would have it; a few weeks later I saw him again at a place called Karma, we started to chat and shared a few drinks. Him being from New York and me on my way to go live in Johannesburg at the time, I thought again that this would be the last time we would cross paths.
But this was not to be, a couple of days later I bumped into him again, at Wembley. I then introduced him to some of my mates. When I left for Johannesburg, he became really good friends with the rest of my friends… weird how these things work out.
Anyways I haven’t seen Malik since, but we’ve stayed in contact. Today he sent me a poem, which has now become some of my favourite words:
The Dash Poem
by Linda Ellis
”I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came her date of her birth And spoke the following
date with tears, But he said what mattered most of all Was the dash
between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left, That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say About how you spent your dash?”
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Republic of Hout Bay
Seems like the project at work is on track and seeing how it’s a public holiday here in South Africa I had a nice mid-week break.
There being so many arbitrary public holidays; I can never quite keep track of what and why we’re actually celebrating. I think today might have beenHeritage Day, and I think we’re meant to celebrate the cultural diversity of our country. But most South African’s I know, only know it as National Braai Day, in case your South Africanese is not up to scratch; a braai is a ritualistic gathering where meat is burnt over a fire and then feasted upon...in other words a barbecue.
Unfortunately, the weather has not been playing ball as of late and so instead, of celebrating with a braai, I think it turned out to become National Gym Day. For some reason, every person in South Africa seemed to be at the gym. It was packed and I struggled to get any of the machines I wanted, while there.
Besides my little workout, I didn’t partake in any strenuous activities. A few of us did decide to go on a bit of a road trip though – well not exactly road trip - and we only headed out that way to watch some DVDs. The drive was pretty much just over Table Mountain and into Hout Bay. Going to Hout Bay however, might as well be going out to another country.
It’s a sleepy seaside community and for whatever reason there is an inside joke amongst inhabitants, that it is its own republic; even though it’s only, at a maximum, a thirty minute drive outside of Cape Town city centre. I remember the first time I visited; I was dumb-founded to see signs which read “Welcome to the Republic of Hout Bay”. Apparently, if you are a resident, you can even get a fake Republic of Hout Bay passport… If I was seemingly confused; I can only imagine what foreigners feel like.
There being so many arbitrary public holidays; I can never quite keep track of what and why we’re actually celebrating. I think today might have beenHeritage Day, and I think we’re meant to celebrate the cultural diversity of our country. But most South African’s I know, only know it as National Braai Day, in case your South Africanese is not up to scratch; a braai is a ritualistic gathering where meat is burnt over a fire and then feasted upon...in other words a barbecue.
Unfortunately, the weather has not been playing ball as of late and so instead, of celebrating with a braai, I think it turned out to become National Gym Day. For some reason, every person in South Africa seemed to be at the gym. It was packed and I struggled to get any of the machines I wanted, while there.
Besides my little workout, I didn’t partake in any strenuous activities. A few of us did decide to go on a bit of a road trip though – well not exactly road trip - and we only headed out that way to watch some DVDs. The drive was pretty much just over Table Mountain and into Hout Bay. Going to Hout Bay however, might as well be going out to another country.
It’s a sleepy seaside community and for whatever reason there is an inside joke amongst inhabitants, that it is its own republic; even though it’s only, at a maximum, a thirty minute drive outside of Cape Town city centre. I remember the first time I visited; I was dumb-founded to see signs which read “Welcome to the Republic of Hout Bay”. Apparently, if you are a resident, you can even get a fake Republic of Hout Bay passport… If I was seemingly confused; I can only imagine what foreigners feel like.
Voice of the Voiceless
I half expected that my political commentary would stir the proverbial rice pot, a little. If my words ignited even some thought as to what is going on underneath the surface of it all, then I think I achieved what I set out to do. Most people, in my opinion, have become a little too apathetic with regards to what goes on in the country, and with the apathy have lost hope.
I’m not the most informed or the smartest cat out there; but I like to keep a tab on things and to talk about them with other like-minded folk, as I’d like to believe that I can still affect change. Am I naïve? Hopeful? Or just plain stupid? Perhaps I'm a little bit of them all; but who else is going to try to make a difference if it doesn’t start with myself? People seem to forget that everyone has a voice, and a right to vote.
On to a lighter a note, not more than a few months ago I opened up the GQ to find one of my mates JP Bolus in it. Yesterday, I opened up the new issue and found another of my friends in there. This time it was none other than coffee club co-founder, Bevan Ducasse. They did a full page article on him titled “The Man Behind the Cellphone Wallet”. The person writing the article even proposed marrying off their daughter to him, should she have been old enough.
It’s no wonder that every time, I introduce a potential girlfriend to my friends that they get over me really quickly and swoon over them instead. Man! I have to stop introducing them to my friends…when will I ever learn?!
Bevan is my new hero. I want to be him. I don’t want to seem strange but I may or may not have erected a shrine of him in my living room, and may or may not have some of his golden locks too…
I’m not the most informed or the smartest cat out there; but I like to keep a tab on things and to talk about them with other like-minded folk, as I’d like to believe that I can still affect change. Am I naïve? Hopeful? Or just plain stupid? Perhaps I'm a little bit of them all; but who else is going to try to make a difference if it doesn’t start with myself? People seem to forget that everyone has a voice, and a right to vote.
On to a lighter a note, not more than a few months ago I opened up the GQ to find one of my mates JP Bolus in it. Yesterday, I opened up the new issue and found another of my friends in there. This time it was none other than coffee club co-founder, Bevan Ducasse. They did a full page article on him titled “The Man Behind the Cellphone Wallet”. The person writing the article even proposed marrying off their daughter to him, should she have been old enough.
It’s no wonder that every time, I introduce a potential girlfriend to my friends that they get over me really quickly and swoon over them instead. Man! I have to stop introducing them to my friends…when will I ever learn?!
Bevan is my new hero. I want to be him. I don’t want to seem strange but I may or may not have erected a shrine of him in my living room, and may or may not have some of his golden locks too…
Monday, September 22, 2008
State of the Nation
I don't want to make too much commentary on my political views with regards to Thabo Mbeki's resignation as president, becuase to be honset I'd probably be speaking out of ignorance...all I can say is from some mild exposure and insight into political happenings; I don't believe everything I read or hear in the news. As such, I sure would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at one of the ANC inner circle's meetings, to see the build up to this event and to see what their plans are for a post Thabo regime.
I'm quite shocked with Thabo's move, to me he has always seemed like a bit of a power monger and one of those individuals who would go down in a blaze of glory, before ever even considering relinquishing power. His stepping down as president; thus, comes as a massive shock. Perhaps he realizes that political instibilty is not good for this country, has taken an altruistic approach and decided to put an end to all the political infighting that has taken place for the betterment of the country? Perhaps he realizes there is some truth to the saying "A house devided cannot stand"?
Being the ever optimistic, an idealist; I'd like to think this is the case and that he has simply decided to do what he thinks is best for us all, instead of there being some more dubious political underpinnings. As whether or not the ANC and Thabo's decisons are actually beneficial for this country? Only time will tell.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
David Guetta - Life of the Party
David Guetta was the dog’s bollocks – that doesn’t mean it was bad, quite the contrary the saying dog’s bollocks should not be mistaken for the term “it’s bollocks” meaning "it's shit", the term dog’s bollocks is only reserved for those occasions which were outstanding, excellent, awesome - and other similar adjectives which I can’t think of at the moment.
To be honest I’m not a huge fan of electro house (if that’s even what David Guetta is)…I mean, I don’t hate it, but I’ve never gone out of my way to listen to it. I’ve always been more of a rock man myself. But I certainly do appreciate a good show, and last night was a damn good show indeed.
First of all, if you’re going with a group of good mates the chances of having a bad evening are slim. But when that’s supported by a group of world class DJ’s rocking the venue, acrobatics going on and some incredible visuals. You’re bound to have yourself a really sweet party.
The music was incredible - I danced until till my knees gave in…and until my favourite pair of jeans finally gave in; on its last legs - I don’t know what happened but they completely fell apart at the seams.
I really needed yesterday night – it was a break from the misfortunes that seem to have filled up recent times.
To be honest I’m not a huge fan of electro house (if that’s even what David Guetta is)…I mean, I don’t hate it, but I’ve never gone out of my way to listen to it. I’ve always been more of a rock man myself. But I certainly do appreciate a good show, and last night was a damn good show indeed.
First of all, if you’re going with a group of good mates the chances of having a bad evening are slim. But when that’s supported by a group of world class DJ’s rocking the venue, acrobatics going on and some incredible visuals. You’re bound to have yourself a really sweet party.
The music was incredible - I danced until till my knees gave in…and until my favourite pair of jeans finally gave in; on its last legs - I don’t know what happened but they completely fell apart at the seams.
I really needed yesterday night – it was a break from the misfortunes that seem to have filled up recent times.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Attendance
I had a feeling there was going to be a good turn out for coffee club this morning. I just didn’t expect there to be 36 people (this was verified by our hostess at MissK’s). This morning has to be the best turn out for coffee club yet!
The attendance in the last couple of weeks has been terrific. I think the reason why so many people enjoy coffee club is that there’s no obligation to attend Saturday morning meets: Ernst, Bev and I simply supply a location on a week to week basis, and you can literally, just turn up and bring friends if you’re feeling up to it.
It’s awesome because you meet a lot of new faces and at the same time have the opportunity to stay in touch with people who share hectic weekly schedules.
The only problem with having a flash mob; however, is that it can sometimes create logistical problems for the store, for example there might not be enough seating.
I think in future I’m going to phone up store owners in advance, so that they can be prepared. At the rate at which attendance is growing, the club may have to book out the entire venue as a private function. One can only dream of such a day!
The word on the street is that there might be a Tasha’s opening in Cape Town soon – being one of my favourite spots in Jozi you’ll be sure that I’ll be rocking the joint as soon as it opens here.
The attendance in the last couple of weeks has been terrific. I think the reason why so many people enjoy coffee club is that there’s no obligation to attend Saturday morning meets: Ernst, Bev and I simply supply a location on a week to week basis, and you can literally, just turn up and bring friends if you’re feeling up to it.
It’s awesome because you meet a lot of new faces and at the same time have the opportunity to stay in touch with people who share hectic weekly schedules.
The only problem with having a flash mob; however, is that it can sometimes create logistical problems for the store, for example there might not be enough seating.
I think in future I’m going to phone up store owners in advance, so that they can be prepared. At the rate at which attendance is growing, the club may have to book out the entire venue as a private function. One can only dream of such a day!
The word on the street is that there might be a Tasha’s opening in Cape Town soon – being one of my favourite spots in Jozi you’ll be sure that I’ll be rocking the joint as soon as it opens here.
Live Life at the Speed of Love
I'll be the first to admit that my last post was a bit random...I just started typing for the sake of typing and found myself again "completely stunned and confused at the utter garbage" that was spewed forth. I am certainly a person who can admit to his own faults and failings; and I was completely unsatisfied with what was last written. As far as meaning is concerned the previous one failed.
To make up for it, I'm posting for the second time today (technically it's the next day as it's 3am in the morning but lets not argue over semantics shall we)...this is quite an unprecedented event, at least for me and this blog. I was only ever supposed to post one a day but I feel what I'm about to post is justified, and will hopefully redeem my previous failing.
Lauren appeared to me in dream, again - but unlike the last one. It certainly was not a nightmare. The dream was strange in the sense that it was as if I were very awake - a lucid dream if you will. In the dream I was standing around chatting to Lauren. Suddenly, I realized that I was concious and whilst having the oppurtunity, I started telling her things I've wanted to say and also began blasting off questions as to "where she was?" - "why she had to leave?" and "how on earth we were supposed to go on without her?".
She sensed my distress and in a way only Lauren Devine could pull off, she very calmy sat me down and told me that she was in a far better place. She then began giving me some encouragemnt and some much needed advice on how to get through all of this. The most profound words that stuck were that I should start to "live life at the speed of love".
Those were the exact words that Lauren's cousin, Lance, used in his eulogy to describe the way in which she lived. Lauren's mom reminded me of them the last time we spoke.
I woke up from the dream with a real sense of calm (a welcome change); and for some reason I felt obligated to write about it, immediately - as if it could help others who are also feeling distraught.
I'm not exactly certain and haven't quite figured out on how to "live life at the speed of love" yet, but I do believe that I'm certainly going to try and take Lauren's cue. If anything I think Lauren has already taught me how with her leading by example.
To make up for it, I'm posting for the second time today (technically it's the next day as it's 3am in the morning but lets not argue over semantics shall we)...this is quite an unprecedented event, at least for me and this blog. I was only ever supposed to post one a day but I feel what I'm about to post is justified, and will hopefully redeem my previous failing.
Lauren appeared to me in dream, again - but unlike the last one. It certainly was not a nightmare. The dream was strange in the sense that it was as if I were very awake - a lucid dream if you will. In the dream I was standing around chatting to Lauren. Suddenly, I realized that I was concious and whilst having the oppurtunity, I started telling her things I've wanted to say and also began blasting off questions as to "where she was?" - "why she had to leave?" and "how on earth we were supposed to go on without her?".
She sensed my distress and in a way only Lauren Devine could pull off, she very calmy sat me down and told me that she was in a far better place. She then began giving me some encouragemnt and some much needed advice on how to get through all of this. The most profound words that stuck were that I should start to "live life at the speed of love".
Those were the exact words that Lauren's cousin, Lance, used in his eulogy to describe the way in which she lived. Lauren's mom reminded me of them the last time we spoke.
I woke up from the dream with a real sense of calm (a welcome change); and for some reason I felt obligated to write about it, immediately - as if it could help others who are also feeling distraught.
I'm not exactly certain and haven't quite figured out on how to "live life at the speed of love" yet, but I do believe that I'm certainly going to try and take Lauren's cue. If anything I think Lauren has already taught me how with her leading by example.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Social Retard
My brain feels like mush. Generally I'm pretty good at chatting up a storm and socializing with people and in general, I also feel like I can add something to a conversation. But after a few weeks of high brain-intensive, 12 hour days - I feel like a bit of a social retard. I find myself not even capable of stringing up a semi-coherent sentence - I've even stopped in mid-sentence recently, completely stunned and confused at the utter garbage which has spewed forth from my mouth.
I'm articulate dammit! This isn't supposed to happen.
Now, some of you may be saying "But Benny you're always a social retard". Sure this may be true to some degree, but at least the garbage I used to spew, made sense...kind of, well at least it does to me, in my own head. I've never realized how with it, or how much effort; ones brain exerts to make one seem interesting and easy to talk to.
I gots to get my "A" game back yo! This just won't do.
Before you slate me for my grammar in the previous paragraph. I know it's incorrect. More than likely, you're not familiar with my "street" vernacular. "Vernacular" - Damn! I'm articulate - I'm going to throw in super, handsome... and modest too.
I'm articulate dammit! This isn't supposed to happen.
Now, some of you may be saying "But Benny you're always a social retard". Sure this may be true to some degree, but at least the garbage I used to spew, made sense...kind of, well at least it does to me, in my own head. I've never realized how with it, or how much effort; ones brain exerts to make one seem interesting and easy to talk to.
I gots to get my "A" game back yo! This just won't do.
Before you slate me for my grammar in the previous paragraph. I know it's incorrect. More than likely, you're not familiar with my "street" vernacular. "Vernacular" - Damn! I'm articulate - I'm going to throw in super, handsome... and modest too.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Equestrian Style
I think I'd make an awesome gun-slinging, horse riding cowboy! Victoria invited me to go horse riding on Sunday. Sadly, I think the ride is way to advanced for me, so I won't be able to make it - well really - because I don't really know how to ride a horse. Scratch the being a good cowboy bit, who ever heard of a cow boy who can't ride a horse?
I remember my folks took me to an Equestrian club once where they thought it would be a great opportunity to let me learn. By the time I thought I was doing really well, the instructors notified me that I was in fact, not riding a horse at all but rather I had been riding their Great Dane...To be honest I've been so deprived in my childhood that I don't think I really know what a horse looks like. They're those cat like creatures with the stripes right?
Anyways, perhaps one day when I'm all grown up - I'll get my chance.
I remember my folks took me to an Equestrian club once where they thought it would be a great opportunity to let me learn. By the time I thought I was doing really well, the instructors notified me that I was in fact, not riding a horse at all but rather I had been riding their Great Dane...To be honest I've been so deprived in my childhood that I don't think I really know what a horse looks like. They're those cat like creatures with the stripes right?
Anyways, perhaps one day when I'm all grown up - I'll get my chance.
Smell the Roses
It's strange when you start working late hours on a regular basis. Your sense of time goes completely out the window...for example right now I'm taking what I thought was my lunch break, but actually its more like dinner time. I can now relate to how so many people get caught up in their work and let life pass them by without savouring it. Anyways I still have lots to do - so better get to it. If I get too caught up though, someone please remind to stop and smell the roses.
Seeing how all this work is for one of the big financial houses, and given all the recent Firehouse sales, lets hope all this hard work is not for naught...
Seeing how all this work is for one of the big financial houses, and given all the recent Firehouse sales, lets hope all this hard work is not for naught...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Great Depression?
I just watched the US Federal Reserve Bank (better known as the Fed) hold on to its 2.0% key interest on the news. I’m not sure exactly what that means right now, but I’m pretty certain it’s going to have some drastic effects on not only the American but global economies in the not so distant future. Apparently of all the options that the Fed could have taken this was the one that Economist and Financial Analysts wanted least, as this suggests that the Fed is expecting a slow down in the US economy.
If any of you have been keeping an eye on the American financial markets in the last couple of days; you’ll know that it’s going through a rather rough time. Well that’s a little bit of an understatement, with Investment giants Lehman Brothers declaring bankruptcy yesterday, Merril Lynch being taken over by Bank of America, and fears of AIG going under, things have certainly been better.
Some analysts even fear that economy may be headed for another “Great Depression” like recession. Although I’d like to believe that the markets have matured since those times, with the shake up recently it’s really difficult to say…all I can and will say is that we’re living in some interesting times, and at this point all we can do is observe and hope that the higher powers have some tricks up their sleeves to avert a massive financial crisis. I remain confident…in the mean time I’m going to start putting some cash under my mattress for rainy days, although this may prove to be fruitless if money loses its value.
If any of you have been keeping an eye on the American financial markets in the last couple of days; you’ll know that it’s going through a rather rough time. Well that’s a little bit of an understatement, with Investment giants Lehman Brothers declaring bankruptcy yesterday, Merril Lynch being taken over by Bank of America, and fears of AIG going under, things have certainly been better.
Some analysts even fear that economy may be headed for another “Great Depression” like recession. Although I’d like to believe that the markets have matured since those times, with the shake up recently it’s really difficult to say…all I can and will say is that we’re living in some interesting times, and at this point all we can do is observe and hope that the higher powers have some tricks up their sleeves to avert a massive financial crisis. I remain confident…in the mean time I’m going to start putting some cash under my mattress for rainy days, although this may prove to be fruitless if money loses its value.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Gatekeeper
Hooray! They finally gave me a key and the privileges to open and lock up the office. What this little benefit means, my friends, is that I’m now able to come in as early and go home as late as I want, which in turn means that there will be absolutely no reasons for me not to be able to work long hours and get work done…
Wait! Why am I so excited about working long hours again? Sounds like a pretty bad deal to me. Gosh…Idiot! On second thought I think I’ll be returning these then. In fact, let me put it on the top of my “To Do” list tomorrow morning.
Wait! Why am I so excited about working long hours again? Sounds like a pretty bad deal to me. Gosh…Idiot! On second thought I think I’ll be returning these then. In fact, let me put it on the top of my “To Do” list tomorrow morning.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Weather... or Not?
I wish this weather would make up its mind. One minutes its hot, the next its cold, then its hot again. Yesterday was a fantastic summers day and today it feels like the dead of winter again. Forget what you’ve heard about the world ending with another world war…I’m going to quote my very wise Canadian friend Katrina and say: “The weather’s going to get us!”
Dropped my mom back at the airport this afternoon, it was really awesome to catch up, we had a lot to talk about and some important issues to go through.
I spent the rest of the day just chilling at Caprice with Action Dan, Paul and Xav; checking out the scene…but because of the crap weather it was quiet as a church mouse. Might as well I suppose as I have a pretty tough week ahead.
Dropped my mom back at the airport this afternoon, it was really awesome to catch up, we had a lot to talk about and some important issues to go through.
I spent the rest of the day just chilling at Caprice with Action Dan, Paul and Xav; checking out the scene…but because of the crap weather it was quiet as a church mouse. Might as well I suppose as I have a pretty tough week ahead.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Busy Little Bee
I was thinking of taking it easy with my mom, but one thing lead to another and it turned out to be a really busy day.
It started off with coffee club at the Vida in Wembley Square. Wembley is like a home away from home for me and my brother. If we’re not at the gym , we’re more than likely visiting one of our many friends who stay in the complex; or you’ll probably catch us frequenting one of the eateries, the bar area or even the quality restaurant, which is found in the form of Sinn’s.
We had dinner with my mom at Sinn’s last night, by the way. The food at Sinn’s is always excellent, but the dessert divine. Unfortunately my mom doesn’t really appreciate sweets and has more of a savoury palette. If my dad were here too (he couldn’t make it this time around as he had to hold down fort and keep the family property business going), he would have gone nuts for it.
My sweet tooth had to come from somewhere; and you guessed it, if it doesn’t come from my mom it has to come from my dad. I remember this one time; he wanted to show me this dessert spot he used to love as a kid in Taiwan. He remembered it to be just around the corner from where he used to live, but with memory fading; we ended up walking over 8 kilometres just to grab some famous ice pudding stuff…thankfully I’m also a ridiculous sweet tooth and really appreciate that sort of thing, otherwise I reckon I would have been seriously peeved.
I digress, after coffee we decided to get some groceries done and while finishing up we bumped into my brother’s best, high school friend and his wife, Dr and Dr Stevens. Zane and his wife are both medical doctors and really close to the family, my mom hasn’t seen them in ages either so it was decided that we needed to catch up somewhere for lunch. Being such a beautiful day in Cape Town, Camps Bay was the only place to go; so straight from grocery shopping we went to the beach front for a bite at Sandbar and do a little catch up. While at lunch we bumped into more people that we knew and ended up having even more conversation.
So much for having a quiet day. I’m beat and think it’s time for an afternoon siesta. A little nap before we start making a little bit of homemade Chinese food. Mom-made Chicken and Sweetcorn soup…can’t friggen wait!
It started off with coffee club at the Vida in Wembley Square. Wembley is like a home away from home for me and my brother. If we’re not at the gym , we’re more than likely visiting one of our many friends who stay in the complex; or you’ll probably catch us frequenting one of the eateries, the bar area or even the quality restaurant, which is found in the form of Sinn’s.
We had dinner with my mom at Sinn’s last night, by the way. The food at Sinn’s is always excellent, but the dessert divine. Unfortunately my mom doesn’t really appreciate sweets and has more of a savoury palette. If my dad were here too (he couldn’t make it this time around as he had to hold down fort and keep the family property business going), he would have gone nuts for it.
My sweet tooth had to come from somewhere; and you guessed it, if it doesn’t come from my mom it has to come from my dad. I remember this one time; he wanted to show me this dessert spot he used to love as a kid in Taiwan. He remembered it to be just around the corner from where he used to live, but with memory fading; we ended up walking over 8 kilometres just to grab some famous ice pudding stuff…thankfully I’m also a ridiculous sweet tooth and really appreciate that sort of thing, otherwise I reckon I would have been seriously peeved.
I digress, after coffee we decided to get some groceries done and while finishing up we bumped into my brother’s best, high school friend and his wife, Dr and Dr Stevens. Zane and his wife are both medical doctors and really close to the family, my mom hasn’t seen them in ages either so it was decided that we needed to catch up somewhere for lunch. Being such a beautiful day in Cape Town, Camps Bay was the only place to go; so straight from grocery shopping we went to the beach front for a bite at Sandbar and do a little catch up. While at lunch we bumped into more people that we knew and ended up having even more conversation.
So much for having a quiet day. I’m beat and think it’s time for an afternoon siesta. A little nap before we start making a little bit of homemade Chinese food. Mom-made Chicken and Sweetcorn soup…can’t friggen wait!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Mother Hen
My mom arrives later this afternoon. So I figured I’d better write this now, because chances are I won’t get around to it this evening. Since things are so crazy at work and Joe is stuck in some meetings, we can’t really get off to fetch her either. Xav our good friend, has volunteered to help out (thanks Xav).
Anyhow, my mom has never met Xav before so I’m really scared that she might not make it to my flat. Even though Joe and I have prepped her and sent photos of Xav to her – she has the same crap “can’t-recognize-people-from-a-bar-of-soap” gene that my brother has. I’m a little bit afraid that she’s going to climb into the wrong car and go home with the wrong person.
We’ve told her that she should make sure that the person picking her up has a green car and sounds French. Surely she’ll be okay then…surely?
Anyhow, my mom has never met Xav before so I’m really scared that she might not make it to my flat. Even though Joe and I have prepped her and sent photos of Xav to her – she has the same crap “can’t-recognize-people-from-a-bar-of-soap” gene that my brother has. I’m a little bit afraid that she’s going to climb into the wrong car and go home with the wrong person.
We’ve told her that she should make sure that the person picking her up has a green car and sounds French. Surely she’ll be okay then…surely?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Sugar High
I slept like a log last night. A well needed break from the insomnia. In the end, it wasn’t even any of the advice that I’ve been receiving that helped…I received some seriously interesting ones by the way.
Late last night, I had one heck of a sugar craving and pretty much hoovered a bag of candy, polished of a few Lindt chocolates which were lying around the ol’ domicile and punished a tub of Haagen-Dazs. Yip that’s right! When I get a craving - I satisfy the sucker right!
Anyways, all the sugar resulted in my insulin level reaching epic highs and of course, with epic highs come sweeping lows. I crashed, and came down like a ton of bricks –straight into a deep slumber.
Late last night, I had one heck of a sugar craving and pretty much hoovered a bag of candy, polished of a few Lindt chocolates which were lying around the ol’ domicile and punished a tub of Haagen-Dazs. Yip that’s right! When I get a craving - I satisfy the sucker right!
Anyways, all the sugar resulted in my insulin level reaching epic highs and of course, with epic highs come sweeping lows. I crashed, and came down like a ton of bricks –straight into a deep slumber.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Black Hole
My eyes are burning and blood shot. Those of you who have the pleasure (note the hint of sarcasm there) of working in front of a computer screen all day will understand what I’m talking about. Staring at tiny text on the monitor for hours on end can’t be good for one’s eyes…perhaps that’s why I have four.
I’m pretty proud of myself though. This is the first time I’ve ever been kicked out of the office for working late…well not exactly late. Unfortunately there are some tight deadlines that need to be met, which pretty much translates, to yours truly having to spend some obscenely long hours in the office. The only problem is, only a select few have the keys to lock up the building. So, when the last person with these privileges decides to leave,it means that I have to leave too; unless of course I have a strange urge to spend the night, sleeping under the desk and fending off giant rats.
Anyways, after this hectic project is finished, I really think I need to take some time out. Even if it’s for a couple of days to try gain some perspective with all that has gone on in the past couple of weeks.
In other news, CERN has decided to carry out an experiment to simulate the creation of a black hole…hold on a second. Aren’t black holes those whirling, matterless pits that suck everything in? Perhaps it’s just me, but this sounds like one of those experiments that seem like a great idea at first; but then just end up destroying everything instead?
I know that the experts are reassuring everyone that the planet is safe from impending doom, but I’d be a lot more comforted if they had some actual proof of this and perhaps just didn’t do the experiment in the first place.
I’m pretty proud of myself though. This is the first time I’ve ever been kicked out of the office for working late…well not exactly late. Unfortunately there are some tight deadlines that need to be met, which pretty much translates, to yours truly having to spend some obscenely long hours in the office. The only problem is, only a select few have the keys to lock up the building. So, when the last person with these privileges decides to leave,it means that I have to leave too; unless of course I have a strange urge to spend the night, sleeping under the desk and fending off giant rats.
Anyways, after this hectic project is finished, I really think I need to take some time out. Even if it’s for a couple of days to try gain some perspective with all that has gone on in the past couple of weeks.
In other news, CERN has decided to carry out an experiment to simulate the creation of a black hole…hold on a second. Aren’t black holes those whirling, matterless pits that suck everything in? Perhaps it’s just me, but this sounds like one of those experiments that seem like a great idea at first; but then just end up destroying everything instead?
I know that the experts are reassuring everyone that the planet is safe from impending doom, but I’d be a lot more comforted if they had some actual proof of this and perhaps just didn’t do the experiment in the first place.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Momma's Boy
I haven’t seen my folks in a bout a year. With all my moving around (from Cape Town to Joburg and then from Joburg back to Cape Town) and the working my butt off for Reflex, then jumping back into software development to work for someone else again; I really haven’t had the opportunity to go home and see them.
My brother, Joe’s been fortunate enough to go back home a few times for work and whenever they’ve had the opportunity to visit him here in Cape Town, I was also stuck somewhere else. My mom decided that enough was enough, and has bought the first ticket to fly down and visit this weekend.
I’ve really missed my mom, so it’ll be really good to see her. Sometimes telephone conversations are just not enough I guess. What can I say; I’m a bit of a Momma’s Boy it seems. Of course it goes without saying; I can’t wait for some decent mom-made food.
My brother, Joe’s been fortunate enough to go back home a few times for work and whenever they’ve had the opportunity to visit him here in Cape Town, I was also stuck somewhere else. My mom decided that enough was enough, and has bought the first ticket to fly down and visit this weekend.
I’ve really missed my mom, so it’ll be really good to see her. Sometimes telephone conversations are just not enough I guess. What can I say; I’m a bit of a Momma’s Boy it seems. Of course it goes without saying; I can’t wait for some decent mom-made food.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Insomniac
3:46am…so I guess the melatonin and other sleep remedies that have been suggested to me didn’t work then. At least I feel kind of rested though, but unlike yesterday I don’t recall if I had a nightmare or not.
Xav, figured that after his sunless trip to Europe and because of the pearler of a day we had, the day before last; that it would be a great idea to unwind and forget about things by grabbing a couple of sundowners at Caprice – only problem was that, with the ever flaky Cape Town weather; all of a sudden, there was no sun. It didn’t stop us from going though, and it actually turned out to be the first great evening I’ve had in a while – the actual experience out – not the weather. That remained terrible.
There was some outrageously funny dance moves made and I got to meet some really nice new people. Fittingly, Caprice is one of La’s favourite hangouts and strangely, it felt like she was right there beside us.
I sometimes forget that these blogs are publicly viewable and sometimes treat it as my personal journal; so I get surprised when people message me or talk to me later about some pretty personal issues. I was thinking that perhaps I should tone down on these – but after some thinking and to remain true to my original intention of starting this blog; I decided to keep posting as I always have. But before you go and think that I’m going to go around and reveal my deepest darkest secrets - there are some really personal thoughts, that I don’t think I’d ever put down in writing.
Xav, figured that after his sunless trip to Europe and because of the pearler of a day we had, the day before last; that it would be a great idea to unwind and forget about things by grabbing a couple of sundowners at Caprice – only problem was that, with the ever flaky Cape Town weather; all of a sudden, there was no sun. It didn’t stop us from going though, and it actually turned out to be the first great evening I’ve had in a while – the actual experience out – not the weather. That remained terrible.
There was some outrageously funny dance moves made and I got to meet some really nice new people. Fittingly, Caprice is one of La’s favourite hangouts and strangely, it felt like she was right there beside us.
I sometimes forget that these blogs are publicly viewable and sometimes treat it as my personal journal; so I get surprised when people message me or talk to me later about some pretty personal issues. I was thinking that perhaps I should tone down on these – but after some thinking and to remain true to my original intention of starting this blog; I decided to keep posting as I always have. But before you go and think that I’m going to go around and reveal my deepest darkest secrets - there are some really personal thoughts, that I don’t think I’d ever put down in writing.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Bad Dreams
Well it’s 4:05am on my clock…and it looks like I’m up again. Considering that I only fell asleep about 3 hours ago, I haven’t gotten much sleep at all… and this similar pattern has been ongoing for the past couple of weeks. This insomnia and lack of sleep is making me feel like I’m losing my mind.
I have a feeling I’m waking up because of some really odd dreams, however in most cases I just can’t remember any of them, except for tonight. I can vaguely recall what happened in tonights.
In the dream, I was having dinner with La and we were having what seemed to be quite a serious but happy conversation; I then receive a phone call, in which I walk to a separate courtyard area, away from where we are dining to answer. I then proceed with a telephonic job interview. The interview ends well and I remember very distinctly the guy on the other line telling me that I had so many unbelievable opportunities that he didn’t know where to begin. Afterward, I seemed really happy to get back to dinner and report some good news, but before I could, a wild dog appears and mauls the crap out of me. All very strange.
I have a feeling the dinner with La, the interview and the wild dog all have some symbolism. But I don’t have a clue how to interpret them...I’m not Joseph - no, not my brother, Joseph – the other one, you know the with the technicolour dream coat that’s really good at interpreting dreams.
I’m going to try and go back to bed, but I fear that it’s going to be a futile attempt.
I have a feeling I’m waking up because of some really odd dreams, however in most cases I just can’t remember any of them, except for tonight. I can vaguely recall what happened in tonights.
In the dream, I was having dinner with La and we were having what seemed to be quite a serious but happy conversation; I then receive a phone call, in which I walk to a separate courtyard area, away from where we are dining to answer. I then proceed with a telephonic job interview. The interview ends well and I remember very distinctly the guy on the other line telling me that I had so many unbelievable opportunities that he didn’t know where to begin. Afterward, I seemed really happy to get back to dinner and report some good news, but before I could, a wild dog appears and mauls the crap out of me. All very strange.
I have a feeling the dinner with La, the interview and the wild dog all have some symbolism. But I don’t have a clue how to interpret them...I’m not Joseph - no, not my brother, Joseph – the other one, you know the with the technicolour dream coat that’s really good at interpreting dreams.
I’m going to try and go back to bed, but I fear that it’s going to be a futile attempt.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
If I Knew
If I knew that it was your last
I would have said a little prayer
If I knew that it was your last
I would have told you how I felt
If I knew that it was your last
I would have held and not let go
If I knew that it was you last
I would have kissed you everywhere
If I knew that it was your last
The last day that I would see you
I would have given you my all
My love, my life, my heart, my soul
I would have said a little prayer
If I knew that it was your last
I would have told you how I felt
If I knew that it was your last
I would have held and not let go
If I knew that it was you last
I would have kissed you everywhere
If I knew that it was your last
The last day that I would see you
I would have given you my all
My love, my life, my heart, my soul
Friday, September 5, 2008
Emotional Eating
Usually I’m quite an emotional eater. I find comfort in food, so when I’m anxious or feeling a little sad I eat…anyone want to diagnose me here? It surprises me however that recently my appetite has been at an all time low and I’ve struggled to get anything in.
I can feel that my appetite is returning but, in the process of losing it, I’m afraid that my stomach has shrunk – so I may not be able to take full advantage of Cheat Day – Saturdays.
Oh well, I guess I’ll find out tomorrow…I’ve already planned out my attack. Tomorrow the coffee club is visiting the new Wine Bar, slash eatery situated on the top floor of the Woolworth’s at the Waterfront, so there will be much cheating there, and being at the waterfront I might as follow through with a bit of Willoughby’s fare.
I can feel that my appetite is returning but, in the process of losing it, I’m afraid that my stomach has shrunk – so I may not be able to take full advantage of Cheat Day – Saturdays.
Oh well, I guess I’ll find out tomorrow…I’ve already planned out my attack. Tomorrow the coffee club is visiting the new Wine Bar, slash eatery situated on the top floor of the Woolworth’s at the Waterfront, so there will be much cheating there, and being at the waterfront I might as follow through with a bit of Willoughby’s fare.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How the Mighty Hath Fallen
How the mighty have fallen. Amongst the frantic frenzy to meet a tight deadline at work, I tried to install the new Google Chrome browser on my PC. Unsuspectingly it didn’t work. I’m confused. Usually all Google’s stuff works like a dream…but then again I have a knack of breaking stuff without actually doing anything…except for being present. If a piece of software works on someone else’s PC, for some reason even with the same setup, it won't on mine.
Anyways feeling pretty knackered and a little bit sick again. Lovely. At least tomorrow is Friday. Thank the Pope.
Anyways feeling pretty knackered and a little bit sick again. Lovely. At least tomorrow is Friday. Thank the Pope.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Health Nazi
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Having dinner with a bunch of friends is my favourite way of spending an evening…unless of course it’s having dinner with a hot date. Me, being a Health Nazi during the week, means that I don’t eat anything with high impact sugars, or which is extremely high in fats; and this can prove to be very difficult especially if it’s not the weekend. I do have a policy however, that if someone goes out of their way and puts some hard, heart-felt effort into preparing a meal; I then have no choice but to consume whatever it is that they have made, even if it is laden with contraband.
Tonight I’ll be going to a dinner party at a friend, which would usually mean that the “eat-whatever-it-is-they-make-even-if-it-is-laden-with-contraband” policy kicks in and I’d probably be left with a horrible feeling of guilt, for cheating, the rest of the week. With that said, Stef is making us dinner this evening and that means that I am guaranteed to go guilt (how’s that for alliteration?) free.
Stef is studying at one of the finest culinary schools in New York, so she can follow her dream to open up a restaurant one day (being a big fan of her cooking, I’m sure I’ll be one of the first, if not first person to walk through the door). The school specialises in the sourcing and preparing of natural, healthy foods and she’s becoming a master of coming up with some amazingly, delicious dishes. For example over the weekend, she baked a Carrot Cake that was all organic, fat free, sugar free, wheat and gluten free – to be honest, I have no idea how anyone could figure out how to bake a cake like that, but Stef did and it was absolutely spectacular…Anyways, I’m famished, and this talk about food is not helping.
PS just for the record my Health Nazi-ness doesn’t mean I don’t like unhealthy fatty foods. Quite the contrary actually, I love the damn stuff; so much so, that if I had my way I’d probably endanger my health; but having a slight heart condition, it does serve in my best interest to look after the ol’ ticker.
Tonight I’ll be going to a dinner party at a friend, which would usually mean that the “eat-whatever-it-is-they-make-even-if-it-is-laden-with-contraband” policy kicks in and I’d probably be left with a horrible feeling of guilt, for cheating, the rest of the week. With that said, Stef is making us dinner this evening and that means that I am guaranteed to go guilt (how’s that for alliteration?) free.
Stef is studying at one of the finest culinary schools in New York, so she can follow her dream to open up a restaurant one day (being a big fan of her cooking, I’m sure I’ll be one of the first, if not first person to walk through the door). The school specialises in the sourcing and preparing of natural, healthy foods and she’s becoming a master of coming up with some amazingly, delicious dishes. For example over the weekend, she baked a Carrot Cake that was all organic, fat free, sugar free, wheat and gluten free – to be honest, I have no idea how anyone could figure out how to bake a cake like that, but Stef did and it was absolutely spectacular…Anyways, I’m famished, and this talk about food is not helping.
PS just for the record my Health Nazi-ness doesn’t mean I don’t like unhealthy fatty foods. Quite the contrary actually, I love the damn stuff; so much so, that if I had my way I’d probably endanger my health; but having a slight heart condition, it does serve in my best interest to look after the ol’ ticker.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Picture Says a Thousand Words
Since the popularity of the digital camera, I’ve felt little need to have photos printed. As such I have had a massive backlog of photos, which have been piling up over the last few years. Being a computer/digital geek I’ve always defended the digital format and tried to promote the futility of printing anything …I figured if you wanted to look at a picture you might as well do it in front of the PC.
Thus, my flat has been completely bare of pictures, which has brought about much ridicule and analysis by some Psych friends, of my seemingly humanless, emotionless existence. Given recent events, I am the first to admit the error of my ways and pictures, no; memories around the home do indeed encourage a sense of comfort and homeliness. If there is one thing I have learnt in life, it is that procrastination leads to regret, so today I figured, was as good a time as any, to finally get them developed.
After filtering through the digital mess, carefully selecting the ones that I wanted, the number still tallied up to over 160. Getting all the pictures printed at once cost a small fortune and is probably not an exercise that I hope to do again anytime soon. However going through the pictures have really served as testimony to me, of the fond memories I’ve accumulated in recent times.
Thus, my flat has been completely bare of pictures, which has brought about much ridicule and analysis by some Psych friends, of my seemingly humanless, emotionless existence. Given recent events, I am the first to admit the error of my ways and pictures, no; memories around the home do indeed encourage a sense of comfort and homeliness. If there is one thing I have learnt in life, it is that procrastination leads to regret, so today I figured, was as good a time as any, to finally get them developed.
After filtering through the digital mess, carefully selecting the ones that I wanted, the number still tallied up to over 160. Getting all the pictures printed at once cost a small fortune and is probably not an exercise that I hope to do again anytime soon. However going through the pictures have really served as testimony to me, of the fond memories I’ve accumulated in recent times.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Wobble
I had a bit of a wobble this morning and felt pretty depressed. The last couple of weeks have been really difficult. Losing two friends in the space of a week has taken its toll on me emotionally, physically and mentally and this morning it culminated in a downward spiral of emotion. I’m not sure exactly what happened, because I was feeling pretty fine before, but some thing small triggered it off, letting my defences slip, and causing me to indulge in my emotions. For the rest of the morning I felt…to put it plainly like shit.
To make it worse, the guy who handles some of my financial issues contacted me about my Life assurance policy. The issue of mortality is not something that I’m taking with ease at the moment. I won’t mention which company it is, but the basic gist of it is, because of my heart condition; the assuror wanted to revaluate my policy, take away some policy benefits and load an additional 80% in monthly charges. This even though the doctors feel that the condition is so slight, that it is virtually negligible and that I should not be treated any differently from anyone else.
To me, it sounded like a scam and I gave the broker, a man more than double my age, a verbal lambasting that I doubt he will soon forget. Thankfully, by midday I recovered. The work I’m doing, currently, is quite interesting and serves as a good distraction. I’m finding that I’m battling a roller coaster of emotions; and even though most times I retain my composure, and force control - I’m still not over all this and I am seemingly a little volatile. I guess I need to let time take its course and take each day a step at a time.
To make it worse, the guy who handles some of my financial issues contacted me about my Life assurance policy. The issue of mortality is not something that I’m taking with ease at the moment. I won’t mention which company it is, but the basic gist of it is, because of my heart condition; the assuror wanted to revaluate my policy, take away some policy benefits and load an additional 80% in monthly charges. This even though the doctors feel that the condition is so slight, that it is virtually negligible and that I should not be treated any differently from anyone else.
To me, it sounded like a scam and I gave the broker, a man more than double my age, a verbal lambasting that I doubt he will soon forget. Thankfully, by midday I recovered. The work I’m doing, currently, is quite interesting and serves as a good distraction. I’m finding that I’m battling a roller coaster of emotions; and even though most times I retain my composure, and force control - I’m still not over all this and I am seemingly a little volatile. I guess I need to let time take its course and take each day a step at a time.
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