Friday, October 31, 2008

Dear GQ

Hooray! I made it into the GQ, but unlike Bevan and JP they didn't want my mug, as I'm not much to look at.

Instead, a letter that I wrote a while back made it in this months issue. GQ runs a competition every month for the best letter and although it didn't quite fulfill it's initial intent, it's still pretty cool that it got published. The letter was a shameless attempt of mine to win a cool watch...I figured that if I was super confident and projected a "I-Already-Won" attitude, that it would be just a matter of formality before I had the time peace in hand or in this case on my wrist.

Unfortunately, I didn't win and instead GQ gave me a lesson in subtlety, suggesting that I should not be so crass. GQ:1 - Me:0

Anyways here's the letter (it was slightly modified in the magazine):

"Dear GQ,

Well, I might as well just blatantly come out and say it. This letter is not written to compliment the GQ team on an excellent publication, nor is it to congratulate my friend, Elbe van der Merwe on securing the Wonderbra campaign. Even less, is it an attempt to show my admiration of Brandon Jack's satirical piece on the world's technology advances.

Although all this is inherently suggested, this letter is in actual fact, a shameles attempt (I'm all class, baby!) at winning the cool Emporio Armani watch from S.Keren. For you see, I have a slight fetish for watches!

Sure you could probably give the watch to a letter more deserving, with someone who was more subtle in their motives. But in all probability few people would appreciate the watch as much, and even less would probably know how to get rid of that awful sweat, stink; when one wears a time piece with a leather strap too often…

As a suggestion, perhaps an article about the miracle substance, known as Baking Soda or Bicarbonate of Soda; and its many - many uses (including the removal of horrid smells, relieving of awful sun burns etc) could be researched and written by your team of apt writers….

So! Until another letter comes around that is as complimentary, without actually being complimentary, or suggestive. Then gentlemen – I do believe you have found yourselves a winner.

Yours sincerely,

Benny Ou"

Although I didn't get the watch. Seeing as how GQ published my letter and I gained a free lesson in subtlety (thus perhaps improving my character). I think that I may have actually won this particular encounter.

Me:2 (published letter; free lesson in subtlety ) - GQ:1 (not giving me a watch)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Broken Telephone

I love new gadgets...but my interest for new things lasts about as long as a goldfish's memory.

After accidentally, smashing my old phone, I finally got off my butt and organized a new one. It's nothing special just a simple Nokia 6300. All I really look for when I'm in the market for a new phone is that it has decent battery life, has Bluetooth connectivity, internet access, can send and receive text messages and most importantly receive and make calls (which is about every phone on the market these days). Oh yes, and it must be small and light enough not to throw my back out. I'm afraid I'm not much of a phone geek...yes, that's right I'm a reject of a tech guy.

I've cheked it out, read the manual, tried to figure out the different features, but more than anything I just like the shinyness ("oooooo shiny") of my new phone, new stuff is cool that way. But since I've gotten finger prints and smudges all over the thing - my interest is waning fast - ok I'm bored now - I just wish this sucker would finish charging already so I can actually use it!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Six Degrees of Separation

It amazes me how small the world is.

I went to a braai yesterday courtesy of Foxy Roxy. And while there, a group of people came around, they were all from out of town. It amazed me that, even though they were all complete strangers, when people started talking; somehow they were all connected.

Striking up conversation, Dan (Skinstad) started chatting to one guy and not long into it he found out that the guy he was chatting to is really good friends with a cousin of his. Later, I started speaking to another guy named Paul, whom I find out is the drummer of a band called Southern Gypsy Queens and works quite often with my other brother, Bryan back home in PE.

From last nights experience, the whole social concept that everyone is separated by only six steps became even less far-fetched in my mind. Consider the following exercise, how many steps do you think it would take to link yourself up to someone like Leonardo DiCaprio, a famous Hollywood actor (I use this example because when I was a kid I would have thought that this link was impossible to establish)?

For me it is only two degrees of separation, as my good mate Action Dan worked as Leo's stunt double on Blood Diamond, from Leo I'm sure it is only a couple of steps to all the other members of the entertainment industry.
Taking that example into consideration, it's not difficult for me to imagine how I could indirectly be linked to everyone across the globe.

I'm always fascinated by the dynamics of social networks and how we could all somehow be interconnected. The world may seem big, but in the end I reckon we're a closer knit tribe than you'd expect.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Vagabond No More

I finally gave into the urge and got my hair cut - As much as I tried to let it grow and work on my vagabond look, it just started to get irritating and I had to cut it.
The hair stylists gave me a courtesy peppermint head message after the cut...and man I must tell you, I've been missing out. The tingly sensation of the peppermint treatment was so relaxing it took a headache that I had earlier away - almost immediately!

Why did no one tell me these things were so cool in the first place? From now on I'm turning over a new leaf, perhaps I'll wonder out of my comfort zone and dabble in some of those wacky spa treatments, you know, like floating around in a tranquility pool with mud all over my face and Enya playing in the background! I can see people challenging my manliness as I speak - my response to that is "Oh well, at least I'll feel relaxed!"

Contrastingly, a few weeks ago I decided it would be a great idea to start running to and from the gym, I reasoned that I wouldn't have to battle with parking, I'd save on petrol - indirectly help the environment and at the same time get a great warm up for the gym session. Seemed pretty sound at the time...I regret my decision immediatly, the run there is awesome, makes me feel like a million bucks. But the problem comes in when I have to run home and I'm already feeling completely knackered...why I'm still doing this is beyond my comprehension and any sane person would probably in their right mind stop torturing themselves.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Cabron

On a whole I had a great weekend, hung out with some awesome people, spent some time at the beach, had some great food... But then some douche bag had to go and ruin things and end it with a sour note.

I’m not entirely certain what I did to provoke him…in fact I’m pretty certain I did absolutely nothing. Never seen him before, never spoken to him before; but for some reason though, he thought it would be a real hoot to grab me around the throat while I was talking to some friends.

All I can say is he was lucky that I was in a decent mood, due to having a terrific day with a great bunch of friends and had someone there to calm me down before I did something I would have regret. If he had caught me a few of days earlier when I was having one of my emotional episodes, not even God himself would have been able to help him.

I was taught from a young age by my grandfather never to instigate a fight, to avoid fighting at all costs and to reason with your enemy, but if you must fight: win. Sounds like something out of the karate kid, but it’s Busihido code and if it had to come to fisticuffs I can almost guarantee he would have regretted it for the rest of his life.

He might have been bigger than me, but I’ve never been intimidated by size, in fact I think it evens the odds. I was once the smallest kid in school and was often picked on by kids three times my size, so to me size has always just been a number.

Not a great start to the week. I’m still seething; it’s been playing on my mind since last night. Went into the office for half the day and came home to finish up some work here; told the office I was sick, I wasn’t, just really pissed off. I still can’t believe someone could show such lack of respect.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Bathroom Acrobatics

Showering in the dark is not as easy as it sounds. The power went out and I was in a rush to get somewhere, but needed to take a shower…not being able to find any candles. I figured it wouldn’t be difficult do it in the dark, turns out I was wrong.

I have a new respect for blind people. Besides being disorientated, I kept fumbling around while showering, mistaking my shampoo for face wash and putting face wash in my hair…. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt about showering in the dark however, is not to drop the soap…it’s the same advice one will get when going to prison (although I wouldn’t really know since I’ve never been…and hope to keep it that way).

Basically I dropped the soap and in the process of trying to feel for it – I slipped on the wet surface and had a bit of a wipe out. Oh! Did I mention the water was cold – because there was no electricity? I’ve come to the conclusion that lying in the shower, in the foetal position, being naked, wet, cold, in pain, and just for effect sake I’m going to throw in hungry as well; is not a really fun thing…

Thankfully, the only thing that is bruised is my ego; besides that I think I'm fine... I might have done something minor to my lower back but it's only a mild discomfort and doesn't seem serious. Hopefully others will learn from my mistakes and heed my warning: Don’t try to shower in the dark while being in a rush; it’ll only cause you pain and misery.

Serendipity

I’m crazy about T-shirts, and saw one that I really liked at the Loading Bay this morning. It’s quite a plain T by Scotch and Soda, but what really attracted me to it was the little message on the front that read “Don’t get panicked by people who predict the end of the world.” With all the craziness that’s been happening with the financial crisis and political tensions occuring in the country, I thought it was rather appropriate and had to buy it.

According to Wikipedia, Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate. I had a rather serendipitous experience a little earlier. Unfortunately, unlike the movie I didn’t happen to run into an English beauty (English beauties are great by the way…especially if they come in the form of Kate Backinsale), fall in love and have a whirlwind romance, however, it was a fortunate enough event none the less.

On my way home from the beach, as I was driving along, out of the corner of my eye I caught the signage for the Caturra coffee shop. I’m not the biggest fan of Caturra coffee, but after a previous post of mine about milkshakes, a friend of mine, Jared recommended that I try some of their milkshakes out.

Impulsively, I swerved to the side of the rode, got out and stepped in to try one out. I ordered the Peanut Butter milkshake from the menu, which was pretty decent but nothing out of the ordinary. Just as I was about finishing up however, who should coincidentally walk into the store other than the man who had recommended the place to me in the first place? Yes, It was Jared and his girlfriend from Brazil, Karen.

It was a rather serendipitous because: one I had never intended on going there for a milkshake in the first place and two I haven’t seen Jared in close to a year. According to him, he had also not been to Caturra in months. He just so happened to have picked Karen up from the beach and they just so happened to be in the mood for a Caturra milkshake.

Jared showed me the light and got me to taste a Strawberry Fruitachino and Chocolate-Vanilla Freezachino, which were both excellent. They are both very tasty. What makes them stand out though, is that they are both low in fat and have a less milky texture than the typical milkshake, making them more refreshing and an ideal cooler for a session straight after the beach.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Claustrophobic

I've been very claustrophobic lately. I have this urge to get out of the office and escape from my flat. It feels as if I've been holed up into a little cage and need to break loose and savour little changes in scenery.

Part of it is probably because I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. My life is currently ruled by routine - getting out, walking about breaks that. I know routine is necessary and honestly I'm generally quite a big fan of it. It gives me a sense of control, and perhaps the madness around me is reflecting my need for change.

I fear I may be a bit of a control freak. I like steering my own ship, so to speak. It scares me when I lose it, when things are out of my hands, completely chaotic. This year has been one giant lesson that I can't control everything, that sometimes I just need to let go...and I don't like it, not one single bit.

But perhaps it's necessary. The best teachers will tell you that: often, lessons that are most necessary in life are the ones that you'll least likely to enjoy.

The World Passes By

I sat at the Vida on Kloof at lunchtime and just watched as the world passed by. For whatever reason I love sitting and watching people, especially on Kloof Street since there is a multitude of interesting folks. It's quite easy on any given day to see people from all across the world cross your path.

I'm not saying I eavesdrop but I like listening in on the funny things people talk about and often wonder what each person's story is, what they're up to and where they're headed - and often you'll hear an American twang here, or some Germans there, or even perhaps see a gaggle of Chinese tourists. It's incredible. Call it curiosity; call me a weird eavesdropping freak, whatever! Sometimes it's cool to just sit and watch other people go about their things.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Training Day

I hung out with some really cool new people at a Braai out in Tableview yesterday evening. The crowd was basically from the wind surfing and kite boarding fraternity. Being an avid surfer back in the day and coming from the windiest city in the country, namely PE, we had a lot of common ground and there was a lot to talk about.

Training is going well at the moment - it's the first week I haven't missed a beat... yet. Although I almost wish I had missed yesterdays leg session, as I'm finding it rather difficult to walk today (I probably just need to work my legs harder so they get used to the pain). As I've said before though, "pain is weakness leaving the body", and it seems that I'm making some progress and seeing positive results.

Still, have a lot of work to do before I reach my goal (I'd like to be back into the shape I was in while I was still involved with Reflex at the end of last year), only about half way through my 8 week program, but at least I'm slowly but surely getting there.

When I'm trying to lean down I tend to use really light weights, however, I do increase my repetitions quite substantially. My weight sessions becomes more like cardio sessions; the idea is to breakdown muscle and burn body fat at the same time. It may be strange to hear a guy trying to break down muscle, but my body seems to have a tendency to get too bulky, which I don't like - and I prefer having well-defined, quality, lean muscle rather than bulky shapeless mass.

My repetitions begin to range well into the 20+ region (that's a lot of reps if you know anything about weight training) which is basically until failure on the lightest weights imaginable (meaning I can't push out any more reps) - often to the amusement of onlookers, watching as I struggle to lift even the smallest of weights.

In genera,l I'm feeling good at the moment - training is certainly helping me release frustrations and the added level of endorphins are most welcome at this point. I don't want to speak to soon, as in my line of work there are always surprises around every corner - but I got a lot accomplished in the last couple of days so it also seems that I'm on track to hit my deadlines comfortably, which definitely helps with my current emotional status quo.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Squishing Bugs

Feels like all I've been doing the last couple of days is squishing bugs. Both figuratively and literally.

In the figurative sense, I've been squashing bugs at work all week; trying to fix all the system faults and mistakes before the system I'm working on goes live.

The etymology of the term "bug" in systems is often misreferenced. Most people think it was because someone allegedly found an insect in a computer system, which was causing it to crash, and removed it to fix it. This is not the case and the term, bug, has been used to indicate a problem in engineering, predating the second world war.

Put that in your bank of useless facts - it may come in handy one day, especailly when you need a real conversation starter....

In the literal sense, I haven't really been squashing bugs at all, more like electrocuting the crap out of them. You can tell when summer is just around the corner, when the mosquito population begins to increase exponentially. I seriously hate mosquitoes, besides sucking your blood and spreading malaria, they have this knack of waking you up just as you're about to fall asleep. Those little bastards kept me up the whole night, and as a result; I look like a raccoon with black rings around my eyes from the lack of sleep.

Revenge, however, is a dish best served cold...or in this case ridiculously hot! I got those suckers back by zapping them with my nifty mosquito racket, which I bought on one of my trips to Taiwan. Basically it's a racket shaped device that you swing around and when the mosquito touches the wiring an electric current is sent through its body causing it to explode. It's so freakin' rewarding because it makes loud crackling and popping noises and even arcs when you get one! Zapped three of those buggers last night.

To vindicate my actions and before PETA comes down on me like a ton of bricks, I would like to state for the record that I wouldn't have to resort to such barbarism if they just, simply left me alone...this is war my friends, and unfortunately if there are to be casualties, better them than me.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Bad Hair Day

I don't usually take very long to get my hair ready in the morning, it's usually a very simple process. All I do is get some hair wax, rub it into my hair and that's it, usually a 30 second affair. Not this morning though, I'm not sure what it was, maybe it's more humid than usual - I dunno - whatever it was I couldn't get my hair to do anything, let alone look neat. I spent close to 15 minutes trying to look respectable for work and tried to get the one side of my hair to not stick up...in the end, I gave in and ended up going to work looking like a bad Japanese Manga character...have you ever seen Dragon Ball Z...nuff said.

Perhaps I need to get my hair cut ...nah, too much effort, I think I'll just try to convince people that big hair is in and that's the look I'm actually going for.

I got some death stares again yesterday evening, I tried to introduce Action Dan to some new people and they immediately rolled their eyes when I said he was a stunt man. I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm a compulsive liar (I wouldn't mind so much if I actually were lying, but I'm not) this especially happens when I introduce him or Paul to new people - I'm beginning to believe that it's easier to tell people that they're serial killers than stunt men...for some reason people will believe me then. Is being a stunt man really that difficult to comprehend?

While I'm on a role and attempting to squash misconceptions about myself: contrary to popular belief I am not Hiro Nakamura from Heroes . And yes, I was hassled about this again last night as well. Man alive! This joke is seriously getting old. It really, really can get irritating. Every time this happens it makes me want to vomit all over the perpetrator. Fortunately for the person hassling me last night, the fact that she was a "she" and that she was really attractive, made it mildly bearable, so luckily for her there was no need for me to waste dinner....

Just to clear things up, though: I know I'm Asian, I know I wear glasses and I know apparently we all look alike. But let's break it down as to why it is impossible for me to be Hiro. Firstly, Hiro is Japanese - I'm Taiwanese; secondly Hiro has cool super powers and can travel through time - although I'd like to believe that eating 3 pizzas in one sitting is a cool super power - it really isn't; and lastly, he is, and I'd like to emphasise this point, a fictional character - I on the other hand am a real boy.

One cool thing that happened last night was that two people, Amy (affectionately known to me as Panacotta Girl, because she introduced me to the most amazing dessert at Col Cachio and thus changing my life forever) and Lauren (PE girls aren't dodgy, they're actually super cool) provided me with some encouragement to continue writing and forget about my would-be deterers. Encouragement is always appreciated and makes this crazy, personal, literary adventure of mine all worth it.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Everything Must Go

Andi took me for a spin in her new car. She bought a cool, black Toyota, RunX …similar to my brothers…only better, well it’s got a slightly bigger engine and I enjoy saying it to irritate Joe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who gets quite as excited about driving as Andi…she really, really enjoys it, and even talks about how she can’t wait to drive somewhere...

I find this fascinating, because personally, if I don’t have to drive I’m pretty happy…perhaps if I were a better driver and if I didn't scratch the car as often. I’d see things differently and I'd enjoy it more. I mean, take this for an example I was driving along the other day and decided to nudge some stuff out of the way with my bumper and some people began freaking out...in my opinion, as the name suggests bumpers should be used to bump stuff. Am i wrong?

Anyways not much happening today, just got up, went to gym and did some grocery shopping. Ooooo exciting!

I have an “everything must go” policy when it comes to food entering my house. Meaning that whenever food comes in, chances of it lasting very long are not very good, not very good at all. It doesn’t seem like I have that part of the brain that tells me that I should be full like most normal people. Instead I’ll keep on eating and eating until there is nothing left…kind of like a locust.

Because of this, it’s not very prudent for me to stockpile too much food in advance. I’ve learnt that if I ration and buy a weeks supply of groceries; I somehow save. Otherwise if I buy too much: say for example a months supply of food, I’ll just end up eating it all in a week and have to redo my groceries and spend more in any case. When I don’t buy anything in advance though, I also end up spending more; because I just end up making a lot of impulse purchases, and usually buy ready prepped food, which obviously comes at a premium.

Back to work tomorrow, can't say I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully something exciting (but it has to be cool) will happen in the new week, so I have some new exciting stories to tell. I’m hoping that it’ll be something along the lines of me winning the lotto and going on a crazy spending spree…lets hope it happens.

Pants Party

I spent the entire evening trying to keep my pants from falling down. Let me just qualify that statement. What happened was I had taken a swim in the ocean, and because I had my boxers underneath my swim trunks; after changing I only had my denims on. Unfortunately, I had left my belt at home; so my pants kept falling down.

For the rest of the evening, through dinner and conversations with numerous people; I discretely (until now of course…since I’m publishing this for all to see) kept my hands in my pockets to prop my jeans up, to avoid being arrested on account of indecent exposure...true story.

So very tired now. Definitely bed time…think I’m going to sleep well. Feeling a lot better and thinking that I’m going to be tackling the week a lot more positively.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Fatigued

Feeling strange lately, a bit tired of the daily grind and feel like i need to take some time out. Need some sort of a break, a change. They say change is as good as a holiday (actually a holiday is as good as a holiday)...haven't had one of those in a while.

Tried to organize something for early November but fell through because of work and not being able to get off. Feeling fatigued and frustrated. Experiencing a mix of emotions that I've never experienced before. A lot of unresolved issues, that were supressed seem to be resurfacing.

Hopefully the weekend will bring some much needed inspiration and calm to my life.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

War Wages Within

The night is still
The fight begins
Emotions a blur
War wages within

His light quickly dissipates
As hope and happiness wane
Replaced by aggression and hate
He becomes irrationally insane

The night is still
The fight begins
Emotions a blur
War wages within

He loses his composure
When confusion reigns
Certainty turns unsure
His sensibility is slain

The night is still
The fight begins
Emotions a blur
War wages within

Cynicism corrupts his mind
The heart calloused
Prudence turns blind
He tries to rationalize his malice

The night is still
The fight begins
Emotions a blur
War wages within

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tip of the Day

I think I’m a pretty good tipper, and usually tip well beyond the 10% mark. Ask anyone, I’m quite a generous guy.

On the odd occasion however, when the service is really poor, I’ll make a point of not giving a tip and show the individual just how unsatisfied with their service I am. I had such an experience recently, at an establishment which will go unnamed (because that’s not what this blog is about).

I made explicitly clear to the person serving us that I wanted tapas-like finger snacks to accompany our drinks at the bar, as there were five of us and we were on a schedule to attend another appointment. The waitron directed me to the menu area titled “Bar Snacks”, I ordered a couple of things from it. But instead of finger foods which we could share, they were full meals. What on earth was I supposed to do with two meals? with five people?

If it weren’t for my guests I would have made a scene and given the person a very stern scolding. Instead I chose to be slightly less brash and I very calmly told him how disappointed I was with him. When the bill came, under “Gratuity”, I explicitly wrote a big fat zero.

Suffice it to say I will not eat at that venue ever again. To the waitron who served us, well done, you have lost my patronage and I will never recommend your establishment to anyone – ever.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Report Back

So following up on my findings with regards to the "alien projectile"....turns out it actually was bird poop. Guess I should have washed my hands before having that sandwich after all.

Impending Doom Averted?

Well well, just as I suspected. The alien invasion that I spoke of yesterday, never occurred...I knew they'd chicken out. Although momentarily I did think that I saw a flying saucer fly pass me... turned out to a seagull. Unless of course these aliens are more wily than first expected and used some sort of cloaking device to hide their true form.

Come to think of it, it did launch some type of projectile at my car. The projectile was of a gooey consistency and smelt a bit like bird poop. But if X-Files has taught me anything, it's that extra terrestrials are sneaky bastards and the bird-poop-like projectile is probably something with a much more sinister intent. Perhaps it's a bug, a receiver if you will; recording and sending up invaluable data to the mother ship...I'm investigating this substance in more detail as we speak and will report back on my findings just after my sandwich break...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Grand Theft Auto and Flying Saucers

What a fantastic start to the day! I woke up early amped to get to the gym and work out some frustrations. When eagerly running up the “stairs of pain” in anticipation for a good burn, “WHAM”, suddenly, the freakin’ electricity went out. I was still determined to go; but the silhouette behind the reception, was even more determined to keep me out. I took it as a sign to go home and get some more sleep…only I couldn’t sleep. Lovely!

The rest of the day didn’t go that much better, the only break I really got was when Ernst and Chris came over to my neck of the woods for a quick Vida. But a bigger break may be on the cards, as according to some, tomorrow is the day, some superior alien race descend on us either revealing themselves to us peacefully or vapourizing us from the face of the earth…my bet is that the fate of mankind is safe for just a little longer…

On a completely different topic, I did learn how to break into the seat of a scooter. Candice, who is down from Jozi for the modelling season, is borrowing the Reflex scooter and very kindly gave me the opportunity to freshen up on a little GTA (Grand Theft Auto) skills as she locked the keys in the seat by mistake. After my MacGyver-like cunningness, and my rescuing the day…there was a split second when she thought that they might not have been in the seat after all, but somewhere else…thankfully for her they were there. If they weren’t she would never have lived that moment down…ever.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Homesick

I felt homesick today. Yip that’s right…I missed good ol’ PE. I bet no one thought they’d ever hear that one. But it’s true. Perhaps it was because of my surf yesterday.

Tried to look for a wave this morning, but didn’t find anything, there was swell but it was messy and breaking badly. I find surfing a mission here in Cape Town, you always have to drive endlessly to find something decent and most waves are only short rides. They start with a great drop in and taper off quite quickly.

Growing up in the Eastern Cape, one is spoilt with long point breaks; rides that go on forever. Besides stating the obvious like J-Bay and St Francis, ol’ PE has one or two decent ones too, like Rincon Point and Millers, both in walking distance of each other.

In particular, I long for my beloved Millers. It doesn’t break all that often but when it does…man, what a ride. As legend has it, Millers was once considered one of the best waves in the world for long boarding. It’s slower than Supers in J-Bay, but is right up there with the Point when it fires. I miss the wave, the good times and the familiar faces.

The surfing is a small part of the home sickness. I missed my old house, my friends, and my mom and dad. When I get the opportunity, I feel I need to take some time off and go home for a bit and surround myself with some familiarity.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Escape

Sometimes one can feel more alone when one is surrounded by lots of people. It’s an odd thing to say, but that’s what I came to realize. I felt like I had lost my self in the crowd.

I’ve got a lot of random thoughts flying around in my head and I’m finding it pretty difficult to try and articulate what I’m trying to express.

Perhaps it’s easiest if I just start off by describing my day. It was great, really fun. It began with lil’ Andi (I swear she’s the energizer bunny in disguise - a fellow insomniac) convincing me to get to coffee club a little earlier than usual for a pre coffee club, coffee. Afterward, we gathered a group together on Clifton 1st and had an awesome day at the beach.

We had quite a setup – I brought snacks, a bat and ball set, a hackie sack, my surfboards, my guitar… pretty much everything that I could think of, that was available in my flat and that I could think of in aiding us to have a good time. I quite literally spent the entire day by the ocean.

I even got in a little surf. I haven’t hopped on a board in a really long time; and while the waves were horrible, it felt good just to be back in the water.

All through school and university, surfing was my escape. I could do it for hours. It was something I did alone, to get away, to forget about all my problems and to be away from the rest of the world. I used it as a time for self reflection and an opportunity to get to know myself a little bit better. By surfing by myself, I grew to truly appreciate my own company.

Today, I realized I was losing myself, I was lost, alone in the crowd, and the surf, the momentary solitude, it felt like I got a little taste of my past and for a brief moment I found escape, I felt like I could reflect. I felt like I found myself, I was no longer alone – I found someone I hadn't been around with, in ages - I found myself - I had me.

One of the things I came to realize is that, I hate coming in second place – that’s figuratively of course - all my life I’ve settled for being second. In everything from work, my education, relationships… and it seriously frustrates me to no end. It’s now on my number one of all time pet peeves. I am the only one to blame for this, I let it happen, I turned a blind eye to the fact that I was settling for sub-parity.

I’ve decided from here on out, I will never again be second string to anyone or settle for second place with anything. I will not compromise, I will not falter and I will no longer settle for anything less than being first.

Friday, October 10, 2008

No Time Wasted

Just finished up at work, which ended in a bit of a mild panic...but got the job done. Woohoo, the sun is out - no time to waste - have to catch the sunset - sundowners at Sunset Deck.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard

Royale Milkshakes rock the Kasbah...the large ones come in one of those large metal mixer things. It's a heck of a lot of ice-cream and milk to ingest, but they are seriously, seriously soooo good. Had one last night.

I know, I know, I said I was going to be stricter about getting lean and mean. But when I'm at Royale, I simply can't resist the urge to have a decadent milkshake, besides it was for a special occasion, Bini Baby was in town, and the gang decided to get together for a meal before she went off again on her world tour.

Unfortunately, I didn't eat there though, as I met up with Mish at Ricks Cafe for a quick bite, Mish is also known as the Goldfish as she has a wicked sense of humour, and compares herself to a goldfish because of her tendency to forget things (sorry Goldfish but I fear the nickname may have stuck). Rick's Cafe is awesome, such a great vibe but also, it's no slouch in the food department. They have a seriously amazing menu, I had a Chicken Tajine which is like a Moroccan stew - however, I almost wish I hadn't eaten there - because - I'm quite simply obsessed with Royale.

Royale is one of my favourite haunts, they do arguably the best gourmet burgers in the country and c'mon who doesn't like a good burger? Don't worry vegetarians; they also have an extensive range of animal-friendly options. To illustrate my obsession with the place, when I first relocated to Cape Town some 4 years ago I got so hooked that in one weekend; my mate, Ryan and I had lunch and dinner there: Friday straight through to Sunday; we did it just to try as many varieties of their burgers as we possibly could.

I speak under correction, but I think there is some story behind the name Royale too. I think it comes from the movie Pulp Fiction. Jules was trying to explain that because in France they use the metric system; instead of calling a Quarter Pounder at MacDonalds a Quarter Pounder, they call it a Royale...a Royale with Cheese, kinda has nice cachet, dontcha think?. They apparently did this so as not to confuse the French locals.

Anyways, all I'm saying is, don't be surprised that if the next time you're having a Royale milkshake and spot me devouring a burger or two, I'd ask you something ridiculous along the lines of: "You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?"

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Frankly My Dear...

I'm an absoloute dumbass. The looming deadlines at work are not as bad as I first suspected, well becasue, I'm dumb and because I'm an ass - and I might have, maybe, kind of read... my calendar wrong. I thought that I only had a week and a half left to meet the deadline, but turns out there is over two. What that means is, I'm still going to have to work hard, but it also means I'm not going to have to pull hectic overtime and work into the wee hours of the morning everyday! But everything is relative isn't it?...so my initial panic has subdued somewhat!

I've been getting quite a lot of feedback with regards to writing these blogs lately. A lot of them have been positive, but every now and again some one will sit me down or send me a snotty message to let me know what a complete idiot they think I am and how much disdain they have for my writing. As Clark Gable once aptly worded in Gone with The Wind: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". Darn thats a cool line! Anyways, there's little chance that that these harsh words would stop me, in fact they make the fire burn hotter! Besides the idiot part is no news to me at all...and perhaps because of my stupidity, what they've said hasn't sunk in. Stuborness and stupidity are a fine line you know?

So there I insulted myself...Ha! in your face would-be ditractors.... for you see no matter the comments: I'm still my own, biggest critcic.

Summer Calling

Why is it that we humans are such ridiculous creatures and always leave everything to the last minute? This was quite evident when I arrived at the gym at 5:30 this morning to find the parking lot jam packed… not even a single spot open…usually at that time there only a handful of cars. And the reason for this? Probably because we’ve experienced some sunshine the last few days, meaning that the imminent call of summer, has stirred everyone into a frenzy to get beach ready!

I suppose I’m not one to talk though, seeing as how I’ve also left it down to the last minute to get lean and mean as well. What irks me though is I should have gotten ready a long time ago. But no matter how much one seems to plan something and intend on getting a head start, ones best of intentions are always somehow smashed by apathy and procrastination.

To make matters worse the mad panic, makes the gym extra crowded, meaning that you can’t get any of the equipment you need, thus making it even more difficult to achieve what you need to achieve….it’s a vicious circle. This more than anything gets me frustrated. To alleviate the situation and to pay for my digressions I’ve now split my gym session into two parts: 45 minutes to an hour of weights in the morning and 45 minutes to an hour of cardio in the evenings, just so I can compensate for the crowd factor and to get in shape in time!

In other news, my job has been ridiculous, I’ve felt like a prisoner, and that my work has been the 150 kilo man named Baba who has had his way with me… I fear some long hours and weekends wasted inside the office is on the cards.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Meat Locker

What a hot, sunny day! But I wouldn't really know, while everyone was enjoying the awesome weather. I was stuck inside a meat locker...again to deploy some software; thats what I call server rooms, "meat lockers", as they are both: incredibly frigid and icy - they're like that to keep all the computer equipment from over heating.

I'm usually prepared for a day in the meat locker, but as it so happened, I left my coat at home last Friday and almost caught hypothermia...living to learn from the lesson, I came prepared this time and brought the thickest, most Eskimo like coat I could find. On my way into the office, there were some pretty strange stares coming in my direction, I think people on the street thought that I had gone crazy as they watched me carrying a heavy coat in sweltering heat. Yes, I am crazy...but at least I usually hide it well...I guess not today.

Now that I'm out of the cold, is it just me or is it ridiculously hot?!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Discovering my Notoriety

For the first time in my life, someone out of the blue, whom I’ve never met approached me, to talk to me… about me. It was a little bit strange the person seemed to know everything about me: my name, who my brother was and even knew facts such as my battling with insomnia.

I was a little bit confused as to how she knew so much about me, but she later revealed that she reads my blog. My blog is available publicly, but when I first started it; I never figured that anyone would actually follow it…it was more of a personal growth exercise (which has been extremely therapeutic, I must admit).

Anyways the recognition was extremely flattering, but at the same time a little bit un-nerving, as it made me realize that I have no idea who reads this thing. I’m still trying to figure out whether I like it…okay I made up my mind, it was kinda cool.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Saturday Musings

I’m so glad it’s the weekend! I thought after my emergency project at work that I’d have some time to take it easy and try to figure things out. But straight after it, I’ve been given even more deadlines. I suppose, I shouldn’t have expected anything less from the IT industry.

I find myself getting rattled a lot more easily these days; I also get angry or find myself in despair for no apparent reason. This is just a self diagnosis, but I think I may have roughly hit stage two of
the five stages of grieving
. With that said I’m determined to try and stay positive, keep composed and carry on moving forward.

Considering that Rocking the Daisies is going down this weekend,I was quite surprised at how full the Organic Market at the old Biscuit Mill was today. I figured that the same crowd that goes to an organic market would go to a rock concert that supports the environment.

I feel a little bit left out though, seeing as how I’m the only person who is not going or actually isn’t in the mood to go. I mean I reckon the festival will be awesome…but it’s weird, since I used to tour with the Finks; rock concerts and festivals remind me of a lot of hard work.

When I go to one, I start reminiscing about lugging heavy equipment around, racing from one destination to the next, doing sound checks and all the other labourious behind the scenes stuff that most people are oblivious to. I also tend to get hyper critical about how the bands play. I’ll pick up the smallest of errors; I’ll scrutinize their tempo, the sound set up, their timing etc, etc… I wouldn’t be what you would call "chilled" or "relaxed". After a hectic month of grinding, on my weekends, I just need to chill a bit.

I guess in some ways, I’m glad I learnt to play a musical instrument but in others I feel like its ruined music for me. I’ve become far too critical. It’s probably the reason why I only pick up my guitar a couple of times every year…playing it can really irritates me. I should be a lot, lot better; especially for the length of time I’ve been playing, but because I don’t get to practice enough; I don’t play quite at the level I expect so I get frustrated, and because of this I’ll just leave it.

I went to the market with quite an awesome crowd: My brother, Andi, Chris, Xav, Dani, Nicole and Gabi just to check things out and to catch up with Sabine, who has been jet-setting around the world for the last few months.

I noticed, in particular at the Loading Bay this morning at coffee club, that I’ve been hanging out with a large Lebanese contingency lately. JP, Lauren, Dani, Nicole are all Lebs... The reason why I mention this though is because I find it amusing, that every Leb in South Africa, seems somehow related to one another, which must make the dating game for single Lebs quite interesting should they feel like keeping to their nationality in this country.

My thoughts are quite disparate today; I think it could be all the caffeine I've ingested. Besides the coffees at coffee club, I had another one from the Origin stand just before leaving the market.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Bed

Today was taxing. I didn’t enjoy it. I should have just stayed in bed…

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Two Thousand and Great?

What initially promised out to be a "great" year, 2008 dubbed by many people as "two thousand and great", has seriously not lived up to it's name. Everyone who I've spoken is going through some type of tribulation, whether its been a relationship issue, a financial issue, a work issue or something to do with personal loss. It seems like no one is having a good year.

With only two months left, something seriously cool has to happen for 2008 to redeem itself. Something seriously, seriously cool....I can't think of what it could possibly be... but
I'm personally tired of all the bad news! Lets all hope that something would materialize to salvage what has been a bum year.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Spring Clean

My flat is in need of a decent Spring clean. I’m not sure, but no matter how hard I try I always end up accumulating a heap of crap that I really don’t need.

Despite my efforts to include the item “not to accumulate heaps of crap” as part of my new year’s resolution; it somehow always happens. I think perhaps I’m just a hoarder…never thought of it that way before.

I drew to this conclusion earlier, when I ordered in some Nando’s takeout. Along with my meal, came this little plastic cutlery set, that doesn’t work really well mind you, but none the less I thought to myself “Hmmmm perhaps I should keep these, they may come in handy later”. I’m pretty certain they won’t, seeing as I have a drawer filled with real, decent working cutlery.

It’s this type of mentality that leaves me swimming in junk in the first place. Idiot! The next time someone catches me contemplating keeping crap. Please remind me to just let it go, lest I end up in the same situation as I’m in now: in need of one heck of a Spring clean.