Wow I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, literally. Must have been quite some nightmare or something (I can't remember, but perhaps I was wrestling a mauling bear), because generally I tend to wake up in the exact same position that I fall asleep in: fetal.
As a result, I feel somewhat disorientated - not quite here not quite there. I should be ecstatic, it's Friday and I have next week off work, but I'm not, I'm pretty indifferent about...well, almost everything right now. The sad reality is that there is no tangible reason why I should be in this mood, I guess there is some truth in the old saying "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" with regards to ones demeanor after all.
Hold the phone! I just realized that this is my 300th note! My mood has suddenly taken a turn in the right direction: up. I recall saying at my 200th post that perhaps I would have something profound to say at my 300th...surprisingly the status of not having anything to say - has not changed. 100 notes and 100 days on, I still have not reached enlightenment. I still cannot profess to know the meaning of life. I can however sincerely say that I'm in a better place than I was 100 days ago.
I still have some issues, insecurities that have developed over the last year (I noticed a few of these creeping out recently), but in general I'm enjoying life, going with the flow not taking everything quite as seriously and at the same time discovering little things about myself that I never knew about before and maintaining my sight on longer term goals.
Gosh, I never really thought about it, but what am I going to do once I reach my year long, personal journey? I have some ideas, but my daily writing has become a big part of my life, that once I stop, it will feel like something is missing. There will be a giant hole and I'll need to find something constructive to fill it with...
At least I'm in a good mood again.
Friday, February 27, 2009
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