Dear GQ

Hooray! I made it into the GQ, but unlike Bevan and JP they didn't want my mug, as I'm not much to look at.

Instead, a letter that I wrote a while back made it in this months issue. GQ runs a competition every month for the best letter and although it didn't quite fulfill it's initial intent, it's still pretty cool that it got published. The letter was a shameless attempt of mine to win a cool watch...I figured that if I was super confident and projected a "I-Already-Won" attitude, that it would be just a matter of formality before I had the time peace in hand or in this case on my wrist.

Unfortunately, I didn't win and instead GQ gave me a lesson in subtlety, suggesting that I should not be so crass. GQ:1 - Me:0

Anyways here's the letter (it was slightly modified in the magazine):

"Dear GQ,

Well, I might as well just blatantly come out and say it. This letter is not written to compliment the GQ team on an excellent publication, nor is it to congratulate my friend, Elbe van der Merwe on securing the Wonderbra campaign. Even less, is it an attempt to show my admiration of Brandon Jack's satirical piece on the world's technology advances.

Although all this is inherently suggested, this letter is in actual fact, a shameles attempt (I'm all class, baby!) at winning the cool Emporio Armani watch from S.Keren. For you see, I have a slight fetish for watches!

Sure you could probably give the watch to a letter more deserving, with someone who was more subtle in their motives. But in all probability few people would appreciate the watch as much, and even less would probably know how to get rid of that awful sweat, stink; when one wears a time piece with a leather strap too often…

As a suggestion, perhaps an article about the miracle substance, known as Baking Soda or Bicarbonate of Soda; and its many - many uses (including the removal of horrid smells, relieving of awful sun burns etc) could be researched and written by your team of apt writers….

So! Until another letter comes around that is as complimentary, without actually being complimentary, or suggestive. Then gentlemen – I do believe you have found yourselves a winner.

Yours sincerely,

Benny Ou"

Although I didn't get the watch. Seeing as how GQ published my letter and I gained a free lesson in subtlety (thus perhaps improving my character). I think that I may have actually won this particular encounter.

Me:2 (published letter; free lesson in subtlety ) - GQ:1 (not giving me a watch)