Claustrophobic

I've been very claustrophobic lately. I have this urge to get out of the office and escape from my flat. It feels as if I've been holed up into a little cage and need to break loose and savour little changes in scenery.

Part of it is probably because I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. My life is currently ruled by routine - getting out, walking about breaks that. I know routine is necessary and honestly I'm generally quite a big fan of it. It gives me a sense of control, and perhaps the madness around me is reflecting my need for change.

I fear I may be a bit of a control freak. I like steering my own ship, so to speak. It scares me when I lose it, when things are out of my hands, completely chaotic. This year has been one giant lesson that I can't control everything, that sometimes I just need to let go...and I don't like it, not one single bit.

But perhaps it's necessary. The best teachers will tell you that: often, lessons that are most necessary in life are the ones that you'll least likely to enjoy.