Bad Directions

Could I have been dreaming? The water along the Atlantic Seaboard in Cape Town was actually warm for a change. Usually when I try to go for a dip, the water is so frigidly icy that my manhood just freezes off, but not yesterday. Yesterday was the first time in the 5 years that I’ve lived here that it was actually warm enough to frolic around in.

I went for a quick swim in Camps Bay, before having to meet up with Liaan at Caprice. Coming here on holiday from Port Elizabeth she’s unfamiliar with the roads and with my shoddy directions, I was really nervous that she might get lost.

Cape Town may not be the biggest city in the world, but compared to Port Elizabeth it’s enormous. I remember when I first moved here I would frequently get lost and somehow always land up at the same place. It was as if all roads led to the waterfront. Sure enough, my directions were bad, she did get a little bit lost and like me, ended up at the waterfront.

Eventually, after some more bad directions on my behalf and some heavy traffic; she reached her destination and we had a blast catching up. The moral of the story is don’t ask me for directions – I’m horrible at giving them.

Speaking of being horrible at stuff, another thing that I’m completely terrible at is darts. Yes, in fact I may be the worst darts player in the world. Good grief! I suck. My friend Darryn is so kind, note the hint of sarcasm, that he thought is was a super sweet idea to publicly humiliate me by posting a video of me, not just missing the dart board but missing it so consistently that I wish the earth would swallow me whole.

In my defence, the video was taken on the night after the Port Elizabeth premier of Tunnel Rats, after I had a couple of glasses of bubbly. We all know how Asian people can’t process alcohol and surely this was the reason for my impaired motor skills. Surely.