Abomination

I may be pregnant! Yeah, you heard right, at least all the evidence is pointing in that direction!

I'm not certain I know what's going on with my body at the moment, some have told me that it may be the after affects of the flu that I recently had. But lets look at the evidence as to why I've come to this damning conclusion: Firstly I've been experiencing quite a lot of heart burn and headaches as of late; and yesterday besides feeling incredibly hot; in the evening. before going to bed, I had a sudden craving for Spur Spare Ribs (the craving was particularly specific, it had to be Spare Ribs and it had to be from Spur). This morning I started feeling queezy. Not to mention the fact that I've never in my life menstruated - missing menstrual periods are another clear symptom of pregnancy.

Bar the fact that it's anatomically impossible for me, a male, to bear children, and the fact that I've been abstaining like a priest... I'm starting to believe that I may not be male at all but instead some abomination of nature, tending more toward the female species than my physicality would suggest.

Woman have been ignoring my manliness ever since I can remember and for some reason decide to have "men-bashing" or "baby-talk" sessions with me in plain sight, accepting me, almost as if I were one of their own. I'm not certain what it is that I project that would suggest that I would be interested in such feminine topics, but have concluded that it must be some hormonal imbalance in my mutant genetics that lull woman into a false sense of security. Also, just the other day a woman off the street approached me and asked : "Please Miss can I have some change?"

Whatever. Maybe I'm just being paranoid with an over-active imagination, but I'm a risk manager and at the moment I'm managing for the worst possible scenario. If I am indeed about to bear a child I'm thinking of the name... Jules, it's asexual enough to fit either a boy or a girl, if it is human at all of course...