The Magic Dancing Taiwanese Boy

Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a big fan of Karaoke, I'm sure I have. But being oriental I'm automatically stereotyped as being a Karaoke god.

After dinner last night, I somehow got convinced to go up on stage and sing Labamba. Now, it's not that I get nervous in front of crowds; I've been forced on countless occasions by a once popular, South African, rock band to make an ass of myself in the spotlight. So it's not the making-an-ass-of myself part that I'm afraid of. That's going to happen regardless. It's the mere fact that I have no control of my actions when I get up there. I think that's why the band used to call me up, to capitalize on my spontaneity.

As soon as I'm up on that thing - I have to entertain. I turn into a different animal, I develop an alter ego and do arbitrary, stupid things. It's like a reflex action. I have no control of myself. Once, without notifying me in advance; they called me up in front of thousands of people and without realizing what I was doing; I began to do a jig and chant obscenities in Japanese...only I don't dance...or speak Japanese. After that incident, a popular gossip magazine dubbed me as The Magic Dancing Taiwanese Boy.

The ramifications of my acts of stupidity are what make me afraid of the spotlight, because quite honestly I don't know what my alter-ego will do next for a quick laugh. Thankfully, last night was timid. I just sang my song, poorly; and left...although there is some video footage that might indicate otherwise.